Heading To Dallas

Going up to Dallas, starting Thursday after I get out of work. (several of the folks in this pic will be present)

I'm pretty excited. It'll be nice to see the boys again. With any luck I will be employed in Dallas shortly. I should be hearing from SKC this week about the job. If they say yes, it will be a life changing moment. I will get to move to Dallas, stay with one of my boys, save up some money, get a car, and start my life over again.

Staying here in Austin is a pretty bleak option. I'll continue to work my current job, in my new apartment, just barely scraping by. To save up enough to get into a car I would have to save every available penny for a year. Even then, I would only have enough to be a junker which may or may not last more than a year or so. I don't make enough to make a car payment, so it'd be a junk car, for cash.

If that's the way it has to be, then so be it. That certainly isn't my prefered option. We'll have to see.

But for now, I'm very excited to make the drive to Dallas. It will be worth every moment of the drive.

Paul Comes To Town

So my brother got out of the clink last Friday. He'd be in for a number of years, and is now a free man.

He's lost some 40 or 50 pounds since I last new him. He shaved his head and beard as well, so he looks like a completely different person. When I picked him up at the bus station last night the only reason I knew who he was is because I saw someone who looked exactly like my dad! He seems happier and healthier than I have ever known him. He's counting his calories, exercising, and looking for a job. It's great to see. I wasn't sure what prison would do to him but it seems that he used the experience to progress down the path of being a useful human. The thing all of us struggle with and usually make little to no headway on.

He'll be staying with Lori and I for a few days, probably heading out Monday or so. It'll be nice to give him a safe haven for a little stretch, let him relax and clear his head.

Anarchy and Religion

I was thinking on the many reasons that humanity cannot exist in a state of anarchy. That is, a society that functions in the absence of compulsory government/rule. The reasons are deep seated and vast. Some of it, I regret, is probably hard wired and is a function of our biological evolution. Most aspects though are just thousands of years of social training; beginning with religion.

The three boss monotheisms (Christianity, Islam, and Judaism) are built on servitude. The core beliefs insist upon the unwashed masses bowing their heads and paying respect to their imaginary friends. It's not just a polite suggestion either, it is mandate. Christianity says you'll burn in eternal torture if you don't (because he's such a loving and caring guy), and Judaism and Islam say your fellows have to cut off your head if you don't. Either way, do it or die.
This mentality is the exact opposite of anarchy. One insists on compulsory obedience while the other insists on its absence. Religion will always be the enemy of anarchy, the enemy of freedom. The development of the state is born of and empowered by this divine permission to oppress others. While religion exists people cannot be free. While religion is respected by the masses as anything but utter lunacy there will always be a master carrying a bloody whip standing over us.

Before we can even begin discussing topics like equality and fairness we must bite the bullet and call mysticism and religion what it is... dangerous nonsense. While we hold the philosophies of the monotheisms (slavery, war, divine murder) we have no chance of being enlightened. While we pretend that the horrific barbarism written in these texts is just "out of context" we will continue to play the game.

Wake up you stupid fuckers. It's made up and while you continue to follow mystic idiocy like a zombie... you are the problem. You continue to empower the insane, to validate the core of their beliefs. Reject idiocy!

Johannes Mehserle

Well, this cop is officially on my shit list. More so than all of the other cops who get on my shit list just for volunteering.

I've done a bit of reading around, seeing what people are saying about the events in the train station on New Years day. It looks like there is quite a bit of disagreement over what this guy should be held accountable for. Not whether or not he shot this thug. Clearly he shot the guy, there are two different videos surfaced which both show very clearly what happened. The THREE cops held him down and one of them shot him.

Ok, so to be fair you have to ask why. Sure, let's ask why: Were the cops being attacked? Was someone else being attacked and the cops acted on their behalf? Was there some clear threat of the victim committing murder if they did not shoot him?

No. There is very clear footage that none of these situations were the case. The guy was clearly down on the ground with these three gunmen holding him down. He was no threat to anyone, and was murdered in cold blood.

There is the discussion about what the scumbag can be legal held accountable for. The idea of "intent". Did he mean to shoot him? Did he intend to pull his tazer but accidentally pulled a firearm... pointed it at his back... and then pull the trigger... all the while thinking it was a tazer which looks nothing, feels nothing, and functions nothing like a handgun? One gentleman said that we needed to sit back and let the justice system handle it. That taking to the streets was the wrong thing to do.

Maybe.

But I'll bet you the person that said that has never been held down on the ground by a group of wild west gunmen (cops) because they didn't like the way he looked, or didn't like his attitude. I'll bet you the person that says that doesn't live in fear of cops because of his ethnicity, economic class, or zip code. That person is probably a really good boy who never stands up for himself against the godlike authority of a cop. He is probably a "yes sir" "no sir" type of citizen. He is probably the guy who thinks that a cop can do no wrong, because they're every day heroes just trying to do their job. I'll give you a news flash and I'll say it loud so the cheap seats can hear...cops are not drafted! They volunteer. They are given combat training. They are given an arsenal. They drive around in suped up hot rods. They can say and do whatever they want. They have an ARMY of other gunmen like themselves that will come to their aid and support them NO MATTER WHAT THEY ARE DOING.

Poor fucking babies.

Poor little every day heroes.

It's a job, which they are trained for, paid for, and volunteered for. They get no sympathy from me. You don't want to be a cop? Good for you cupcake, don't be a fucking cop. You don't want to take responsibility for your actions? Too bad fuckwit, you are paid, trained, and charged with a task involving the safety and welfare of others. You didn't mean to pull your gun and shoot an unarmed civilian, laying face down, in the back? Too fucking bad, boy.

Why all of this sympathy for this poor little cop? He wanted to be the big man, carry a gun, talk in cop lingo, and look like the man. Well, Merry Christmas you piece of shit. Now you're a murdering scumbag, as is your nature.

Tree hugging pussies. "Aw the poor cop, he must be having such a hard time because of these events". They aren't events! It was an execution!! Poor fucking baby. It must be so hard dealing with the repercussions of the cold blooded murder of one of the people you are paid, trained, and volunteered to protect!!!

Cry me a river, bitch. Fuck you and anyone that would protect you. Fuck you and anyone that feels sorry for you. Fuck you and everyone else in a cop uniform. I hope you get your head chopped off and tossed into a ditch; a proper burial.

Pay your dues mother fucker.

As to the riots:

You guys really piss me off. You take what should have been a riot against the police and you turn it into looting? Seriously? Way to totally negate any social significance you could have gained.

The organizers apparently intended to have a peaceful protest. Which is cool. I have no problem with peaceful protest, it's good stuff. However, there is also a need for violent protest. I just don't get the connection between violently protesting against authority and smashing the windows of your local shops.

Did I miss a meeting or something?

People keep calling these animals "anarchists" and that just gets under my skin. People calling THEMSELVES "anarchists" makes me absolutely insane! Anarchy is society without rule, without compulsory leadership/government. It does not mean "smash things and act like an animal". That is not anarchy, kids.

The people smashing up stores and civilian cars may well have just been people that got too angry to control themselves. Ok, I can buy that, but it doesn't excuse it. In a community we have to look out for each other. We need to protect those who can't protect themselves, not smash up their shit.

What were you thinking?!?!

Anarchist = Anarchist
Punk who likes to break things and act like a shit head = Punk who likes to break things and act like a shit head.

Let's not muddy the waters.

A protest needed to happen. Cop cars needed to be lit on fire. Cops needed bricks and Molotov cocktails thrown at them. The cops needed to lay into the crowd and put people in the hospital and kill them. That's the way it works. An anarchist protest doesn't have to end this way, they can be peaceful all day long, but this is the other end of the protest spectrum. In order to show the brutality of the police we have to get them to smash in our heads on camera. It's the way Martin Luther King did it.

So, throw rocks at windows, just make sure they're govt windows, police station windows, cop car windows. Light fires, just make sure they are outside govt buildings etc etc. Anger is natural, revolt is inevitable, let's just not forget what we want to happen once the smoke clears. We can't attain freedom from fear and harmony if we attack each other. We destroy the thing we want to gain before we ever have a chance to make a change.

You, Jesus, and Canons

So I went to Artex's wedding last weekend (Jan 24th, 2009). I had a good flight, it was brief and I didn't die. The Ray family picked everything up so I paid for pretty much nothing. I got to see Chainsaw, Jeremy, Will, Walrus, Dax; tons of people I find awesome yet awesome. I had sex with 4 of the 5 brides maids (one had a scheduling conflict), I did a bunch of cocaine with Jeremy, and I went to an indoor gun range and fired off a few rounds of a hand cannon.

All in all, I'd say it was a resounding success.

It was a religious ceremony which, as you know, makes my skin crawl. I was surprised that the MC actually said "this is a religious ceremony". I thought that was pretty interesting. As if the gigantic spectacle of a church, the huge crosses lining the walls, and the half a dozen prayers said during the event weren't enough of a clue. I thought it was unfortunate, actually, to take the time to say that. Because really it detracted from the fact that what it was ACTUALLY about was a social tradition celebrating love. Granted, it is a social tradition celebrating sanctioned Christian love, but it was a Christian wedding so what do ya' expect?

The gatherings were fun. Jeremy got shit house drunk and made a donkeys ass of himself... which was awesome. He also gave a speach at the reception sighting that he was pissed at Artex for sins from earlier years... which was awesome. Pretty much Jeremy was awesome.

We went to a meat barn for lunch Saturday. It was a barn, made entirely of meat, serving meat atop tables made of meat. The walls were lined with skulls that were formerly attached to moving meat. The waitresses were wearing meat hats and walking around on meat shoes. They served meat, with any of the meat sides you wanted. I ate lite.

Saturday morning, before the meat and Jesus event, we went to an indoor gun range. I was leary, as you can imagine. Firing off guns in the house is not something I have ever experienced. This was a pretty low tech sort of gig, it was a room, closed in, with holes everywhere, and some dim lighting. It's not what I imagined. It was more like firing guns inside an abandoned building (which is also pretty cool). When one of Artex's friend pulled out a pair of .454 caliber revolvers I was a little hesitant. In fact it would be safe to say that I was ready to leave the moment I stepped into the place and the huge guns were just one more motivating factor. I didn't want to be a douche so I went in anyway and watched Artex load one of the huge handguns. He showed me one of the bullets and I asked him what in the hell those guns were actually used for.

"They shoot bears with them I think" he laughed. Then he gave me an instruction I was not quite comfortable with. "Here, stand just behind me and off to my left" I thought that was rather specific, I was guessing it was just so I could get a good view of the carnage. Once he fired off that first round I immediately understood why he said that. When that thing went off it was a huge explosion, a big flash of fire spreading out at least 6 inches in every direction, the gun kicked up like a pissed off horse, and there was a shock wave that puffed my jacket open and almost knocked my ear protection off.

I shit you not.

I'm pretty sure I screamed like a girl and peed a little. It was worth it though. After firing one of the .40 calibur semi-auto a few times I worked up the nerve to try the .454. It was daunting, a huge gun, the bullets were so big that the revolver could only fit 5 rounds in it (as opposed to the usual 6 in non-cannons). When I let that thing off it was exhilerating though. I mean, it really was like being fired out of a cannon. Like letting a grenade go off in your hands but not being blown to bits.

Awesome.

So I emptied out the rest of the bullets in rapid succession. I'm pretty sure I didn't hit the target once but it was still a joy. I felt very butch. Once I put it down I went over and punched Dax in the eye, just to seal the deal.

I would say the weekend was a resounding success. No one died, no one got arrested, Misty looked great, I slept with all but one of the brides maids, and got shot out of a cannon in the name of Jesus. FTW.

Have / Have Not

I have no training, no degrees, no trust fund, if I get fired from my job I am fucked. Instantly. There will be no assets to liquidate to keep me afloat, there will be no savings accounts to blow through while I am looking for a new option, there are no rich family members that will be there to keep me alive. I will lose my apartment, I will not be able to pay my insurance, I will go to prison because I will not be able to pay my child support. I will be fucked, instantly.

Now I see that Citibank wants their new 50 million dollar jet.We are spiralling into what could turn out to be a new Great Depression and there are people who have 50 million dollars to spend. These people who have the money to spend want to spend it on a new jet. I can't even really conceptualize 50 million dollars, and these people want to just *spend* it on a new toy.

That makes me feel ill.

I recal during the presidential race that everyone was talking about the Middle Class. Everyone was, it was this magical phrase that when people uttered it they were given the floor. "I'll watch out for the middle class" they said with pride. You know what's under the middle class? Everyone else. Me and mine. The members of this middle class make three times what I do in a year. These people are well taken care of, buy all the toys they want, eat when and where they want, they have savings accounts that build up every month, stocks, investments, you name it. I hope you'll forgive me but FUCK the middle class. How about let's talk about the working class, how about those who are stuck under the poverty line? So far as I can tell the middle class can take care of itself.

Jets... those of us on the bottom are scared for our lives and these guys are buying jets.

The disconnect from reality is astounding. To think that having a conversation about what color you want your jet to be sounds reasonable to someone in this country (or any, for that matter). To think that there are people who have so much money they litterally have to start buying aircraft to use it up. I can't stop shaking my head and rolling my eyes. The whole idea is so alien to me I wouldn't even be able to have this conversation with one of these rich people. How would I even begin to explain to them that there is a world outside their own? Would they even understand the words as they came out of my mouth? Would they know what I meant when I said it was sad that they were so rich and so bored that they have to start purchasing private jets? I doubt it.

Masters of the universe and myself don't have much in common. We live on different planets, only, we share the same space.